Why I Gave Up Social Media
As a teen, I remember calling a friend. No answer. I called another friend. No answer. Then I’d try another friend. No answer. I remember having deep fears that they were all hanging out without me, purposefully not answering the phone. I have no idea if this was actually happening or not, but I’d create these “what if” situations in my mind where I was the one being left out on purpose. I am so thankful I did not have social media growing up. If I saw on social media platforms my worst fears were true, I know I would have been devastated. My FOMO was already bad. It would have definitely been worse with social media.
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I’ve deleted social media twice. The second time was forever.
The first time I deleted social media I had broken up with my ex-fiancé. I would scour Facebook to see what he was up to and hope he never started dating anyone else before I did. But he did and I cried. I had to force myself to stop seeing what he was doing by deleting Facebook. I realized how much time I wasted scrolling. I didn’t post on it much anyways so there was no point in having it. I wasn’t on Facebook for quite awhile. To this day, I claim to not use Facebook. However, if you search for me, you will find my profile. I have no info on it and I don’t post. I use it when I have things to sell on marketplace. That’s it.
Eventually I got Instagram for the second time… I think. I don’t remember using Instagram in the beginning but I clearly remember it the second time (or maybe it was the first). I had my first child and everyone was asking me to get on Instagram so they could see pictures and “stay up to date”. I eventually gave in to the pressure and started Instagram. My first post was a picture of me and my daughter announcing our debut to Instagram and welcoming my first child.
Slowly I started getting into the mommy space and the interior designing space. I started a blog and I was going to use Instagram to get traffic to my blog. I didn’t realize how difficult it would be. I didn’t like the photography aspect of Instagram. I didn’t understand how to edit a photo so I figured I’d buy a preset. I never thought my pictures were that great. I could never find the “right” preset to edit my pictures. A bunch of presets later I still wasn’t satisfied and I was out a bunch of money. Don’t even get me started on hashtags and descriptions and schedules and commenting and rotating content and posting everyday. It’s too much.
Not that creating wasn’t stressful enough, I’d see how cute these mom bloggers and Instagramers looked. Their houses were so cute and unaffordable. I’d click on their links to see where they got their cute stuff. Then I’d cringe. Eventually it became a game with myself to guess how much their home renos and decorating cost. I couldn’t believe people were paying thousands of dollars for a decorative mirror. Or hundreds of dollars for a shower faucet. I was sticker shocked and felt like it was so unattainable. I was “poor” and they were rich and that sucked for me.
Mommy blogging morphed into reselling clothing. I loved thrifting and finding expensive things for cheap. Maybe that was going to be my niche—reselling clothing on Poshmark. I would use Instagram to drive sales to my Poshmark site. But the cycle started again. I didn’t like the photography or the captioning or the hashtags or the scheduling or the constantly being on the app. Now I started comparing myself to other resellers and how cute their shops looked while mine looked dumpy.
I came to the realization that I don’t have time for this. It’s not fair to my family or myself to constantly want things I don’t have. Or to compare my life to others and assume theirs is better than mine. I had severe comparisonitis.
I had to practice gratitude which I used to think was a bunch of bologna, “yeah, whatever.” But so many people suggested I practice gratitude that I ended up giving it a try. I started writing down what I was grateful for in a gratitude journal I purchased on Etsy. I had it made where half the page I wrote what I was grateful for and the other half I listed what I was proud of myself for. I didn’t have a date because if I didn’t do it for weeks, I’d feel like a loser but no date didn’t make me feel bad for missing some days.
I spent less time on Instagram and started focusing on all the awesome things in my life. Slowly my mindset started to change. I didn’t even want the giant houses or all the stuff that was inside these homes. Yeah, sure, it looked so cute but I don’t even like cleaning more than I have to. Clutter stresses me out, even if it is organized cuteness.
Instagram is a cop out for real human connection. I am not required or obligated to keep friends and family updated via Instagram photos and captions. I reasoned that if people wanted to know how we were doing, they could call me. I wasn’t going to keep Instagram so Hannah from college could silently know what I was up to in my adult life. And never have to actually call me. By the way, I don’t actually know a Hannah.
So I said, “Good riddance, Instagram!” and haven’t looked back since. This was the second and last time I deleted social media.
It’s interesting how many times I’ve ran into people who want to stay in touch or get together and ask for my social media accounts. What happened to exchanging phone numbers and calling people? I always tell them I don’t have social media and they look at me and say, “Oh, really?” And that’s the end of that. It’ll be another couple years and I’ll run into them again. Same thing. No sorry, no social media still.
My adventure with social media is pretty simple though. I fell into the comparison trap and had to dig my way out. It was awful. I was unhappy. I can’t go back there. I am much happier and appreciative of my life and what I have without social media.
xo L.
